I should also mention that after the camera turned off, Caleb drooled those plums all over the bathroom floor. HYGENE~!
6.18.2008
The Magic Is Gone, Dear One (or, Why I Didn’t Like Prince Caspian)
I would make a terrible movie reviewer, if only because there are very few film genres that I enjoy. I don’t like horror, or thrillers, or most action, or dramas, “art” films, or anything with a lot of gore. Mostly I like comedies, sci-fi, fantasy, and the occasional rom-com. So if you liked Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, please don’t be offended that I didn’t I do not represent movie viewers as a whole.
Also, there are some big ol’ SPOILERS ahead, so if you don’t want the SPOILERS to SPOIL your movie experience, don’t read the SPOILERS.
SPOILERS~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~!
Middle East = BAD GUYS
All the bad guys are Mediterranean-leaning-towards-Arabic looking, except for Caspian, who is for some reason Spanish. Could the actors not have got together ten minutes before shooting and decided on one accent for them all to use? Caspian has Spanish and all the other guys are vaguely Middle-Eastern. You can actually tell which of the “nice” bad guys will turn out to be BAD bad guys by how Arabic they look (the baddest bad guy looks just like Saddam Hussein). According to Wikipedia they were going for a Spanish/conquistador vibe with the armor, etc., so I don’t know why they can’t all speak in Spanish accents. Not that it would have been much better to typecast Spanish people, but at least it’s not jingoistic.
Yeah, THIS is what Lewis was thinking…
I’ll be honest – I think I might have read this when I was a kid, but I don’t remember a lick of it. I have been talking with some friends who have read the books recently (Jenna, mostly) and they confirmed that there is nowhere near the amount of time devoted to battle in the books that there is in the movie. In fact, the whole castle attack was made up for the film, based on an offhand comment the mouse had in the books about wanted to attack the Telmarines. There seemed to be a real desire to turn this into a Lord of the Rings for kids, complete with a straight up theifing of the arrow stabbing scene in Fellowship (check Susan during the castle siege ). To my understanding C.S. Lewis was less about conflict and more about relationships. And I know, I know, a totally faithful adaptation of the book would have made a terrible movie since the Pevinses’ aren’t even around for the first four chapters, but then why would you want to make a movie of a book that wouldn’t make a good movie in the first place?
(PS – and don’t get me started on bringing the White Witch back. What purpose did that serve, aside from bringing back the best performer from the first film? Also, look for a cameo of Tilda Swanson near the end as a centaur)
Where’s Edmund?
From his first line in Caspian I was excited to see what Edmund was going to be about in this one. He’s a very rogueish and watchable character. But he gets thrown aside in this film and does very little aside from swordfighting a dwarf and playing with a flashlight. I understand they wanted to give the lion’s share (HIYO) of the screen time to Susan and Peter since it’s their last kick at the can for Narnia, but watching Peter throw hissyfits every fifteen minutes while Susan moons over Caspian didn’t really excite me. It sucks that Edmund’s (and to a lesser extent, Lucy’s) screen time suffers, especially since they’re going to be expected to carry the next film.
We get it. Aslan is Jesus.
SUSAN: “Why couldn’t I see Aslan?”
LUCY: “Maybe you weren’t looking for him”
Oy, vey. Caspian reaches into the Bucket o’ Popcorn Theology pretty consistently and pulls out handfuls vague sampler-worthy quotes that are disingenuous at best, out-and-out incorrect at worst. I showed you at best, and here’s at worst:
PETER: When’s Aslan going to prove himself to us?
LUCY: Maybe we need to prove ourselves to him.
That’s right. Jesus is Emilio Estevez’ dad in The Breakfast Club. You must win a wrestling meet before he gives you his love. There are no losers in God’s family.
So who liked it?
Also, there are some big ol’ SPOILERS ahead, so if you don’t want the SPOILERS to SPOIL your movie experience, don’t read the SPOILERS.
SPOILERS~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~!
Middle East = BAD GUYS
All the bad guys are Mediterranean-leaning-towards-Arabic looking, except for Caspian, who is for some reason Spanish. Could the actors not have got together ten minutes before shooting and decided on one accent for them all to use? Caspian has Spanish and all the other guys are vaguely Middle-Eastern. You can actually tell which of the “nice” bad guys will turn out to be BAD bad guys by how Arabic they look (the baddest bad guy looks just like Saddam Hussein). According to Wikipedia they were going for a Spanish/conquistador vibe with the armor, etc., so I don’t know why they can’t all speak in Spanish accents. Not that it would have been much better to typecast Spanish people, but at least it’s not jingoistic.
Yeah, THIS is what Lewis was thinking…
I’ll be honest – I think I might have read this when I was a kid, but I don’t remember a lick of it. I have been talking with some friends who have read the books recently (Jenna, mostly) and they confirmed that there is nowhere near the amount of time devoted to battle in the books that there is in the movie. In fact, the whole castle attack was made up for the film, based on an offhand comment the mouse had in the books about wanted to attack the Telmarines. There seemed to be a real desire to turn this into a Lord of the Rings for kids, complete with a straight up theifing of the arrow stabbing scene in Fellowship (check Susan during the castle siege ). To my understanding C.S. Lewis was less about conflict and more about relationships. And I know, I know, a totally faithful adaptation of the book would have made a terrible movie since the Pevinses’ aren’t even around for the first four chapters, but then why would you want to make a movie of a book that wouldn’t make a good movie in the first place?
(PS – and don’t get me started on bringing the White Witch back. What purpose did that serve, aside from bringing back the best performer from the first film? Also, look for a cameo of Tilda Swanson near the end as a centaur)
Where’s Edmund?
From his first line in Caspian I was excited to see what Edmund was going to be about in this one. He’s a very rogueish and watchable character. But he gets thrown aside in this film and does very little aside from swordfighting a dwarf and playing with a flashlight. I understand they wanted to give the lion’s share (HIYO) of the screen time to Susan and Peter since it’s their last kick at the can for Narnia, but watching Peter throw hissyfits every fifteen minutes while Susan moons over Caspian didn’t really excite me. It sucks that Edmund’s (and to a lesser extent, Lucy’s) screen time suffers, especially since they’re going to be expected to carry the next film.
We get it. Aslan is Jesus.
SUSAN: “Why couldn’t I see Aslan?”
LUCY: “Maybe you weren’t looking for him”
Oy, vey. Caspian reaches into the Bucket o’ Popcorn Theology pretty consistently and pulls out handfuls vague sampler-worthy quotes that are disingenuous at best, out-and-out incorrect at worst. I showed you at best, and here’s at worst:
PETER: When’s Aslan going to prove himself to us?
LUCY: Maybe we need to prove ourselves to him.
That’s right. Jesus is Emilio Estevez’ dad in The Breakfast Club. You must win a wrestling meet before he gives you his love. There are no losers in God’s family.
So who liked it?
6.12.2008
How I stopped the use of 'or' in blog post titles (or, how I just made an ironic mockery of myself but still managed to save Christmas)
And isn't it ironic... don't you think?
Yep, i just posted an overused quote. Who would have thought, it figures.
Ah well, can't say I don't post.
Yep, i just posted an overused quote. Who would have thought, it figures.
Ah well, can't say I don't post.
6.04.2008
Bat Signal vs. Bat Phone (or, Batusi vs. Bat-Dance)
So I grew up with the Adam West Batman (remember when Batman used to dance?). As we all know, that series is considered to be the stupidest possible representation of Batman there has ever been. But there is one thing it has over almost every other Batman in every other medium: NO BAT SIGNAL. In those days, Batman was summoned by use of a translucent red phone known as the Batphone. Which made sense to me (and was cool looking when it went off). 
I started thinking about this last night at the movies when I saw a trailer for The Dark Knight. There’s a quick cut of a scene where the Joker caves in the Bat-signal with an axe. And I was all like” hooray!” because the Bat Signal made no sense.
Like for example, what if someone decides to commit a crime on a cloud-free night? What is the Bat-Signal reflecting off of then? It’s just a beam of light in the sky. What if it’s a club night and they’re all using those Hollywood sky-spotlight things?
More than that, Batman’s whole thing is to stop crime in Gotham with his rep. Having Gordon throw up the bat-signal is a good way to tell every criminal in the city “hey, Batman’s gonna be over here for a bit so, uh, just…just try to not commit a crime or anything, OK?” He might as well hang a “back in 5 minutes” sign from the front door of the police station.
I have too much time on my hands, I think.
I started thinking about this last night at the movies when I saw a trailer for The Dark Knight. There’s a quick cut of a scene where the Joker caves in the Bat-signal with an axe. And I was all like” hooray!” because the Bat Signal made no sense.
Like for example, what if someone decides to commit a crime on a cloud-free night? What is the Bat-Signal reflecting off of then? It’s just a beam of light in the sky. What if it’s a club night and they’re all using those Hollywood sky-spotlight things?
More than that, Batman’s whole thing is to stop crime in Gotham with his rep. Having Gordon throw up the bat-signal is a good way to tell every criminal in the city “hey, Batman’s gonna be over here for a bit so, uh, just…just try to not commit a crime or anything, OK?” He might as well hang a “back in 5 minutes” sign from the front door of the police station.
I have too much time on my hands, I think.
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