Detecting Movement

Ok, so I'm done the Office (until those writer's get their act together and write me some more episodes or I find the British version somewheres around here) and now I can start posting on here again.

I've begun to hang out with a couple of the guys from work - which has been pretty sweet - except that it means that I have suffered great financial loss from an underground gambling ring that we started. You're probably wondering what shady sport we might be gambling on: pit fighting, cock fighting, crab racing... NOPE, none of those. We were betting on Wrestling.

Not Olympic Wrestling. Pre-planned scripted wrestling (don't tell Kerry). FROM 1991! That we'd all read the results from (but couldn't remember - or at least that's what we claimed - I $1 because I remembered that the Mountine beat Tito Santana). With all that said, I'm down $9. It's been a rough week, payday couldn't come soon enough.

Everyone needs to see Hercules The Movie / Goes Bananas / In New York. It's the one and only movie by the Thespian Arnold Strong (later Arnold Schrawhjhgahnegger). It's one of the funniest things that I have ever witnessed. Just ask Coffey. You'll learn a lot about the bible (like the lesser-known crossover adventures of Greek Mythology and Bible Personas).

The Great Wireless Hunt.

So today the wireless at work was acting a fool, so a few people were looking for it. That's right. No one at work knows where the wireless hub is. They spent hours searching for it. They even had one of the IT guys looking around with a laptop to see if he could find it, to no avail, he even found it to be on the move - it must have been swallowed by a rat or sewer gator. It kind of reminded me of some of the tense motion-detector scenes from ALIENS.

Later we received a company-wide email asking if we had any information about the location of the router. I feel like doing a ransom note up for it.

Was it really that great? No.

Sorry

I'd write more but I am addicted to the Office.

"Christmas" report

Lord Kerrance here (that was for you, Annie). You may be wondering why no one has posted in a while. That's probably what you're doing if you're here. Or perhaps you're drunk and were looking for the Barstow blog, and you were really excited since the last time you were there they hadn't updated since 2001. Sorry friend, you've stumbled into the wrong place. But stay! We have party snacks and Twister.

Anyway, us Bairstoaways have been busy. As I sit here I can hear melodiuos strains from Caleb's room as he multitasks doing some freelance work AND installing a Mac OS on a non-Mac laptop (which is akin to stuffing prime steak with stale pretzels, but that's my opinion. The right opinion, if you're wondering). Luke is off in Tha Hamma, meaning we're sure to get 200 cm of snow. I have been feverishly learning two songs on guitar while memorizing a new verse for a hip-hop show I'm performing at tonight. But I need a break, so I thought I'd let you know the results of the 1st Annual Bairstow Celebration of Roughly The 1040th Anniversary of the Completely Arbitrary, Decidedly Fake Birthday Of Jesus Which Was Put In Place To Compete With A Pagan Festival Happening At The Same Time Thereabouts (ABCOTOAOTCADFBOJWWPIPTCWAPFHATSTT for short). Or as the less historically-savvy call it, Christmas Gift Exchange.

First up was a chocolate selection from our landlords, who are awesome. The chocolate almost lasted a week.

Then it was time for The Leb's gifts to me and Mook, both wrapped in suspicious manila packages. We opened it up to find that we had been granted a joint subscription to Modern Drummer magazine (stop laughing, it's a real magazine. For serious). Although I appreciate the gift, I can't help but wonder if this is a sinister plot on Caleb's part to slowly turn Luke and I against each other each months as we fight over who gets to read about random session drummers and drumkits made out of trash cans and old refrigerators first.

Then came my gifts to Caleb and Luke. I got Luke an Iron Maiden mug, which immediately became known as "The Chalice of Metal". Elaborate rituals shall abound on Metal Mondays. I got Caleb and anti-theft device in the form of a $20 iTunes card. I had hoped to derail his Interweb Piracy for a little while, but as of this writing he has already spent the whole thing, mostly on Gary Neuman.




Finally came Mook's gifts to me and the Leb. We both got DVDs: Caleb got a set about space, furthering his dreams to one day be an astronaut. I got the Simpsons Movie, furthering my desire to one day have jaundice.

Yes, the first ABCOTOAOTCADFBOJWWPIPTCWAPFHATSTT was a success. Many happy returns to you and yours.